Galois: The Syllogism: The First Premise

April 11, 2004

The Syllogism: The First Premise

Legal Parents Ought to be Married

Why did I use the modifier "legal"? Well it helps to avoid some confusion. In case there was any question before, it should now be clear that I do not mean nannies, nor roommates, nor sex partners, nor foster parents, nor stepparents, nor grandparents, etc. I have already discussed why a legal parent is different. I had not used the modifier before because I thought it unnecessary. Certainly in law, parent refers to legal parent. In society, as well, unless we specify otherwise, I generally take parent to mean legal parent whether biological or adoptive.

Is this an arbitrary place to draw the line? Not at all. As I said before in law and generally in society this is what is meant by parent. The distinction between caregiver and legal parent matters in law; the distinction between biological or adoptive parent does not. It is, after all, distinctions in law that we are discussing here. In any case, this is how I am using the term throughout.

Is this a universal rule? No, first of all, it is just my opinion. I will explain shortly why I hold this view, but others are certainly free to disagree. Also, this is just a general rule. There are, I believe, a few case-by-case exceptions to this rule. There are a few times, for example, where I believe divorce is preferable. I see no reason to make a universal exception for same-sex couples, though. I believe anyone making such an exception needs to justify it. Attempts to justify the exception by claims that same-sex marriage would interfere with the message that marriage is important for parenting, I find to be completely backwards. Those that would attempt to justify it by the fact that same-sex couples are infertile need to explain several things. What is the harm in allowing infertile couples to marry? Why should we start drawing legal distinctions between biological parents and legal parents? Should we do more to try to prevent infertile opposite-sex couples from marrying?

Why should legal parents be married? I have spoken before and will again on how the marriage of the parent benefits the child. For the sake of time, I will just give a "quick" outline here--in order of importance--but I would be happy to explore any of these areas further.

1. Marriage helps to keep the parents together, which is good for the child.

This is actually two separate claims and I could write a book on each of them. Instead I will try to write a post on each of them in the near future. I should emphasize here, that keeping parents together is good for the child regardless of whether the the parents are biological or adoptive. I have friends with two children, one biological, one adopted. If they were to ever divorce I cannot imagine that it would have harmful consequences for the one child, but none for the other child.

2. Marriage makes it easier for a parent to make personal sacrifices for the sake of the family.

Many of the consequences of marriage involve providing some security for a person should they lose a spouse they rely on whether through death or divorce. This security allows that reliance to take place which in turn allows the individual to make the personal sacrifices necessary for his or her family. Traditionally, these protections were legally gender based given only to the wife. In our egalitarian society we now keep these protections gender neutral allowing each family to make their own decisions about what works best for them.

3. Marriage is good for the couple, which is in turn good for the child.

Again this is actually two separate claims. Marriage helps a couple in many ways including spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. Think health (body, mind, and soul) and wealth. All of these benefits are, I believe, in turn good for child.

4. Marriage helps establish parentage

The most common case is that when a married woman gives birth her husband is automatically established as the legal parent. Adoption does not need to take place. Paternity does not need to be established, and in fact, traditionally only the husband could challenge the presumptive paternity. I want to emphasize that this is not the only purpose or value of marriage. That being said, it is certainly important. It is also important to note, though, it applies whether or not the husband is the biological parent or even capable of being the biological parent. Thus I see this benefit, at least in part, carrying over to female-female couples. Currently, in many states, when a woman gives birth her same-sex partner can subsequently adopt the child, but that takes money and more importantly time. I believe it would be better for the child if the adoption, which would occur anyway, could occur before the child is born. I should note that unlike the above benefits, this one could be provided without marriage.

12:00 PM in Children and Same-Sex Parenting | Permalink

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» definition of 'parent' from Daddy, Papa & Me
in the discussion that started with one person defining 'parent' differently (being genetic), Galois has made a four part post... [Read More]

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Galois

A mathematician's thoughts on same-sex marriage, election methods, politics, and more and little else of late.

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April 11, 2004

The Syllogism: The First Premise

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